you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am one with the molecules
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
