I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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