I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
