The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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