we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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