Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
