four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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