is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
