Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
