Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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