And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
