No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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