Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize