Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im holly from the hills drunk
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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