We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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