it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
