My Higher Power is John Stamos
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
