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So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
