Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
