In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
