he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
