Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"