she woke up with a sticky ear
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?