my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills