I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.