clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
