That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
