I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
