You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
