When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
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What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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