People with herpes should wear stickers.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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