I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
