I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
