the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
