so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
