I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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