you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
