bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
