there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
