Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
