im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There r osticjed everywhere
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
