Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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