Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
