So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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