Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
