i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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