He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
