I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
