i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want to make out with him forever
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
