Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
