this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
