Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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