need another drink. this is the easiest way
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize