Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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