shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Found your dick twin last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
