let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
