do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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