I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize