i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
