He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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