I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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