and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
