the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
