I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
