it was like eating out sand paper
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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