The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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