At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
